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  • Deflection

    What does it feel like when someone offers you a compliment?  I mean an authentic, out of the blue kind of compliment?

    Do you immediately question their motives or do you respond with a gracious thank you?

    Me?  Well, I have had a long history of deflecting compliments with the thought that the giver is just being nice.

    Why?

    Why would someone do that?

    I did recently read an article that said retailers often train their sales people to compliment shoppers as it encourages them to buy out of reciprocation or guilt.

    Aside from that bubble busting piece of information, for the most part people don’t make kind remarks because they are told to.

    They do it because they mean it.

    They do it because they are being honest.

    Because they want you to know.

    I am likely to comment on a person’s beauty, kindness, energy or helpfulness.  I want them to know.

    There were a number of times I embarrassed my daughters when they were teenagers by complimenting a stranger (or just talking to them).

    The truth is it makes people feel better.  Doesn’t it feel good when a compliment comes out of nowhere?  We have no idea how sharing a positive thought can affect one’s day. 

    So often we take ourselves for granted as we do others.  We’re unaware of our own gifts, beauty or

    affect on others.  I think you should know. 

    I want you to know if I think you have gorgeous eyes.  I think you should be aware of the sweet or calming energy I feel in your presence.  You should know if your actions affected my experience.

    If I keep this information to myself I am keeping it from its rightful owner. 

    My deflection of compliments has decreased since someone close to me once said that when I do it I’m in effect insulting the giver.  I am challenging her taste or opinion.

    That actually sounds a bit rude.

    So I am learning to accept what I dish.  It’s only fair.

    Oh and by the way, you have marvelous taste.